I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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