I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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