im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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