Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
