I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
