I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
