Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
