I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
