I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
