Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
