:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
