By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
