Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
