my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
