What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Randomize
