I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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