Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
