i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
