I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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