just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
