It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it glows. i had to have it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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