I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize