areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
