Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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