Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
