i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
