someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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