found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize