She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she told me i tasted like america
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
