wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So vagazzling was a success
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
