Small penises have feelings too.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she looked like the before picture.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
