i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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