Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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