butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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