I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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