I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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