my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
