She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
