Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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