from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
