i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
