So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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