im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
