Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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