i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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