dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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