just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
