Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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