I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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