i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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