He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
