Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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