please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
