I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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