You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
