Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
