Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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