Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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