I CAN MOONWALK!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My feet surprised me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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