He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
sarcasm needs its own font
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
