I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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