its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
